> Subject: Getting Old > Three men were discussing ageing at the nursing home. > Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.> "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at> the toilet and nothing comes out!" > "Ah, that's nothing'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy you> can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the> toilet all day and nothing comes out!"> "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."> "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.> "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a> flat rock, no problem at all."> "Do you have trouble crapping?"> "No, I crap every morning at 6:30."> With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said: "Let me get this straight.> You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so> tough about being 80?"> "I don't wake up until 7:00.">

Bandit has something to tell us. She will be coming out of the closet soon... 

Smokey and Bandit together, (Denece's pets) 

Doing battle. 

I wonder if he knew when he got out of bed to go to the game, that later he would be standing in the back of a pick up truck singing to tweety bird? You never know what life will bring to you! 

Here I am in the beautiful city of Odessa, Ukraine in December 2004 

>Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own

pants.

>

>Marriage changes passion.

>

>Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

>

>I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.

>So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

>

>How come we choose from just two people to run for

>president and 50 for Miss America?

>

>A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend

>will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"

>

>I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting

>clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up

>in the first place!

>

>When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky

>dunk."

>

>Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able

>to tell the difference.

>

>Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply

>press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

>

>Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can

>in prison?

>

>Wouldn't you know it...

>Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

>

>Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments

>cannot be displayed in a federal building?

>

>Bumper sticker of the year:

>"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,

>thank a soldier !!"

---

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I heard that the first wave is not even the strongest. But if you never have been through this before, I guess you would count your blessings after surviving this...only to have another one come in. I pray for these people, and people like them in the future. 

Sometimes our problems are small when you put things into proper perspective. 

Some pics of the tsunami 2004...I would probably do the same thing as these people. Stand there and take pictures. Now I know better. 

I hope I still have a girlfriend. Never post pictures on the website without asking her first. Our shirts say, "We work 100 % of the time...Monday 10%, Tuesday 20% ...etc..." Anna and Gary December 2004 (I'm sure I can't get in trouble for this. This is my picture of me and my friend. My fingers are crossed on this one. 

This will give you a good laugh....Happy New Year

 

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their
sweet time: 

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking. 

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals. 

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 

4. Walk up to an employee and tell them "Code 3 in Housewares" and see
what 
they do. 

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why
can't you people just leave me alone?" 

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick
your nose. 

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the antidepressants are. 

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme. 

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels. 

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!" 

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal 
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 

And, last, but not least! 

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; and then
yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 

---

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Tino's at the Game ordering two more beers. This costume looks different than the ones I've seen before, What's Up? 

Today is a funday, too. 

test to see...

this is a test to see if I can post from a sent e-mail.

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