Don't Ask Mommy

One day a little girl goes up to her mom and asks her how old she is.
"That's not something adults like to tell," her mother replies.

Then the little girl asks her mother how much she weighs.
"That's not something adults like to talk about, honey" she replies.

"How come you and daddy got a divorce?" the little girl asks.
"We don't like to talk about that either, honey." she says, ending the conversation.

The next day the little girl asks a friend about why her mother wouldn't answer any of her questions.
The friend explains: "It's an adult thing. Just look at her driver's license, it's like a report card for adult's. It will tell you everything you need to know."

So when she got home from school she went up to her mother and said, "Mommy, I know how old you are."
"How old?" her mother asked.
"47."

The little girl said: "I know how much you weigh."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you weigh 135 pounds. And I know why you and daddy got divorced."

"Okay, why is that?" her mom said.
And the little girl replied, "Because you got an F in sex!" 

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A bus stops and two Italian men get on.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

 

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

 

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses
 come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together
 again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."  

 

You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
 "In   this country...we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex
  lives..... 

 

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."    

from Gary

A bus stops and two Italian men get on.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

 

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

 

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses
 come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together
 again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."  

 

You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
 "In   this country...we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex
  lives..... 

 

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."   

Okay. This project, the "SundayisFunday.com" project is moving along smoothly, but at a snails pace! The studio is about ready for minimum performance. The website is improving gradually. As for Anna, my Princess from Odessa, I do not understand women. But I still plug along towards the goal: Making money from my music. Peace Out.

> Subject: Getting Old > Three men were discussing ageing at the nursing home. > Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.> "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at> the toilet and nothing comes out!" > "Ah, that's nothing'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy you> can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the> toilet all day and nothing comes out!"> "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."> "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.> "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a> flat rock, no problem at all."> "Do you have trouble crapping?"> "No, I crap every morning at 6:30."> With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said: "Let me get this straight.> You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so> tough about being 80?"> "I don't wake up until 7:00.">

Bandit has something to tell us. She will be coming out of the closet soon... 

Smokey and Bandit together, (Denece's pets) 

Doing battle. 

I wonder if he knew when he got out of bed to go to the game, that later he would be standing in the back of a pick up truck singing to tweety bird? You never know what life will bring to you! 

Here I am in the beautiful city of Odessa, Ukraine in December 2004